Then His gaze of love fell on me and bitterly I wept...
Jesus I need more of you...
my heart is wretched, my 
flesh is corrupt.
I stumble, I fall, yet still you lift me up.
"You shall love the Lord your God with all Your heart, soul, and might..." (Deuteronomy 6:4).
All my heart Lord? Really?
Ok... but... alright... all of it... are you sure?...
Ok... here You go... take it... mold it.... re-order it...
What was that?
Oh... that part too...
but really, I...
Ok Lord... take my friends.... take my ministry... take my family...
who am I but Your servant?
How can I offer a sacrifice of Praise...
without a sacrifice?
What do I have to give?
"Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name." (Hebrews 13:15)
Even when my world is torn apart...
give thanks to Your name...
even when all around me has crumbled to pieces...
give thanks to Your name...
Praise you because You are My Lord...
Praise you because You are my Abba...
Praise You because You are my Redeemer,
my Savior,
my Love...
my All...
So here I am again... broken and weary...
but that times of refreshing may come...
I humbly seek You...
I love You... I need You...
Heal me... Restore me...
The refining fires burn hot...
a life of Faith doesn't mean a life of comfort...
I stretch, I reach, I press on...
to You and only You because You are all I need.
Then Your gaze of love fell on me and I fell at Your feet.
3.16.2007
Gaze of Love...
3.02.2007
Agape...
Walking up the driveway of the family I was going to babysit for tonight, I found one of their boys standing there; phone in hand, staring up at the sky:
"Pay Jay," Nathan said, (this is the name he's always called me) "will you help me find out how much my Dad loves me?"
Realizing Nathan's Dad was on the phone, he was holding, I heard his Dad say: "Tell Pay Jay to help you find the moon." It took a little bit of searching, but we found it hiding between the trees, big, bright, and beautiful. I had to pick him up and carry him out into the street so we could see it.
"I found it Dad, I see it!" exclaimed Nathan. He was so excited.
"I love you to the moon and back" said his Dad. At this point the phone was on the driveway and Nathan was bent over it with an unsatisfied look on his face. "That's not all, is it?"
"Oh no, son," his Dad said "I love you much more; to the Moon, the Sun, to Mars, and back more than you can count."
That melted my heart. A simple conversation between a 4-year-old and his Father... made me dwell on the Love relationship with our Father in heaven. How much does our Father love us? It's innumerable. To the universe and back a million times over. More then our minds could ever fathom. This love and grace that is freely and abundantly offered to me… yet how does my life reflect, accept, live, use that love? God loves us perfectly. Nothing we say or do can make Him love us any less or anymore. That is why He is God.
What is love? It’s patient and it’s kind. It is not jealous and does not brag. Love is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly. Love does not seek it’s own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered. Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but love does rejoice with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ever not once will not cannot won’t fail. (adapted from 1 Corinthians 13)
If the cry of our hearts is: “Father I want to know you more and be more like you?” Then the above attributes are the game plan. God is love. And I want to be like that anxious 4-year-old with his Dad on the phone next to him. I want more God… to know Him… understand Him… love Him more… and as a child waiting for their Father to return home, I want to be looking up waiting for His soon return. I want to spread the love of my Father to every nation, that all might know, understand, and believe… entering into this amazing relationship with the creator of the universe… I want to be love to everyone I meet.
1 Corinthians 13:13
