Finally...
24 is back tonight... well almost... at least we get a little taste of what's to come!
In the meantime,
I leave you with:
Basic Truths About Jack Bauer
- Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
- If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
- If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
- Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
- If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe it's beef.
- 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
- Let's get one thing straight: the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
- Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
- Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
- When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
- Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better do it.
- Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
- When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
- You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
- Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 11am
- When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
- Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".
- In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the heck have you done with your life?
- Guns don't kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
- If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
- People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
- Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
- Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
- Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
