But as for me...

Psalm 73:26;28
"My flesh and my heart my fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever... But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works."

Looking forward to moving my whole life to San Francisco at the end of the year yields excitement and fear all at the same time.

I feel as if I'm standing on the diving board at the deep end of the swimming pool. God is behind me, gently telling me to jump. I know how to swim, I've trained, and I know how to do it, but looking over the edge fear, that old enemy, grips my heart.

BUT... even if my heart and flesh fail,
GOD is the strength of my heart and my portion FOREVER.

I have made the Lord God my refuge and I will tell of all His works and as I continually submit and trust in Him, I'm so excited to see how He is going to work through me and take me along on His plan for my life.

Our Great God...

"The more we know of God, 

the more shall we see in Him to praise. 

The larger our acquaintance and experience, 

the more our hearts will be disposed to 

magnify His name." 

--- Albert Barnes

 

Milk & Honey...

I love our Lord! He promised the Israelites to take them to a land flowing with milk and honey. Now... many years later this is still the reality. We have such a big and sovereign God... and I just wonder, how great His sense of humor is?

So here's the fact about the "Milk" from the Jerusalem Post today...
only something our God would do :-)

---

JPost.com Staff , THE JERUSALEM POST

Jun. 8, 2008

---

Israeli cows produce more milk than cows in any other Western nation, according to a report released by the Central Bureau of Statistics for Shavuot.

The CBS said that Israeli cows produce an average of 11,000 liters of milk per year, twice the amount given by dairy cows in the EU.

But I don't like Thursdays...

Well friends... I just went to the Orthodontist...
and pretty much signed my life away for the next 2 years.

It's a humbling thing, really.
The Lord told me I needed to be in a season of waiting and seeking Him right now.
It's a really hard thing to do and to not try to make things happen my way...
and now, for at least the next 2 years, I won't be going anywhere long term until my teeth are taken care of
(and my bills paid off!)

I know the Lord will provide and He cares about every tooth in my head - I have a long process ahead of me... life's never boring.
Sure glad God's in control :-)

Fish and Fear...

The Summer of 2003 I boarded the scariest air flight of my life. I was in Moscow about to board a plane to Krasnoyarsk, Siberia where I would be doing ministry for the next 3 months. A bus had taken me and the rest of the plane's passengers out to the furthest part of the tarmac. I wasn't even sure if I was in the right place. I had just shown the lady at the desk my ticket and she angrily pointed out the door to a bus I assumed I was supposed to get on. A light drizzle started as passengers started to climb up the stairs into the aircraft. Thankfully when the attendant looked at my ticket they motioned me to get on the plane. Phew... glad I didn't have to worry about that anymore!

I was shocked to discover that the floor of the airplane resembled a 70's shag carpet in the puke green color. I found my seat and to my dismay, it was broken and always in a semi reclined position. I was seated in the aisle next to a Russian couple who looked more than displease to be sitting next to this strange American girl trying to find her way to Siberia. I was scarred. What in the world was I doing? It was far from too late to turn back now. I realized I hadn't communicated with anybody in Siberia when I was coming in (not that I knew anyways), and I prayed someone in the office back home had. I also realized I had no idea how long the flight was... and as the hours dragged on, I didn't think the flight would ever end.

Eventually the flight attendant started making his way down the aisle with dinner. I watched and listened as he asked each person what they wanted... in Russian! I frantically scanned the food section of my Russian/English dictionary to try and figure out what my options were, but I had no clue. I finally decided that I would say whatever the person next to me said... the annoyed Russian couple. It was our row's turn and the man next to me said: "Ryba" (рыбы). "Ryba, Ryba, Ryba"... I said over and over in my head. I was concentrating so hard on saying the right thing in Russian, that when the attendant looked at me and said "Chicken or fish?" I didn't realize he asked me in English! "Ryba", I said. "Ryba?" He questioned, and I nodded my head, yes. And when he brought me my dinner "Ryba" I got... fish. I honestly would not have ordered fish if I had understood my options... the funny thing is, he had asked me in my language, but I had been so wrapped up in not messing up, that I missed it. I took a bite of my "Ryba" and was shocked to discover it was still full of bones! I lost my appetite so I tried to eat the bread and salad type thing and it was good enough.

Fear is a funny thing. Fear keeps us from going forward. Holds us back, shuts us down, makes us do silly things. It is an ugly thing I have had to continually kick out of my life. The Lord knows this, though, and He never means for us to try and do this on our own, because it's not possible. At the last Supper the Lord was telling his disciples some intense things and warning them of even crazier times to come up. I love what the Lord says at the end of John 14. I can just picture Him looking around at the shocked, fearful, and worried faces around Him, and as a loving Father, He says:

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."
(John 14:27)

God loves us so much. We messed up in the Garden of Eden, and God has, is, and continues to draw us back into that perfect relationship with Him. A relationship that's pure, and Holy, void of fear and full of peace. How often do we (do I) fret and worry about what we are supposed to do? How often are we unsure and timid; fearful to even stop and listen. God wants to speak into your life. He wants to calm your fears. He has promised to give you peace. And the best part is that He is speaking your language, but too often the words of everyone around us are muddled in our head and we just want to say the right thing so that we fit in and don't look out of place. But our place is with God... and that is the only place any Christian perfectly fits in and that is the only place void of fear.

Had I listed to the one voice on that plane speaking my language, I would have had a much better meal that long flight instead of a mouth full of fish bones. But I learned. Six hours later when my flight finally came to an end, I was grateful to see the people I would be serving with for the next 3 months waiting for me and that day the Lord and I began a long dialogue (that we have had to revisit many times since) about me trusting Him to take care of my every needs, and to not fear, whether I speak the language or not; because God always provides, always takes care of His children, and always gives us His peace which surpasses all understanding... God never intended for us to have what is "good enough" but He has designed for us to have what is best... even when it comes to a simple meal on an airplane.

"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?"
Psalm 27:1a

And yes... these are actual photos I took while on that trip.

The top one from my plane in Moscow (on the return trip)

and this bottom one was the view from my apartment in Siberia.

Our Perception...

"The trouble is that because of sin our perception and analysis of God and creation is faulty.

Sin is ultimately irrational, and sin makes us think incorrectly about God and about creation.

Thus, in a world free from sin, the Bible would commend itself convincingly to all people as God's Word.

But because sin distorts people's perception of reality, they do not recognize Scripture for what it really is.

Therefore it requires the work of the Holy Spirit, overcoming the effects of sin, to enable us to be persuaded that the Bible is indeed the Word of God
and that the claims it makes for itself are true."

Wayne Grudem, "Systematic Theology", Pg. 79



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Now playing: Reality Carpinteria Worship Band - Victory is Mine
via FoxyTunes

Ne How, Ma?

Here I am... yes, I am exhausted...
At the Wycliffe Bible Translators Conference... and I finally found Internet! Ha!

It has been amazing... my brain is hurting from all the things filling it... Phonetics, Grammar, Phonology, Mandarin Chinese (just wait until I come back, Sarah!) Apparently on Thursday our group (me, Matt, Amber, and another girl) are giving a presentation in Mandarin! That should be entertaining, to say the least. But very important... the word for "Avocado" is "Uh lee".

God is speaking amazing things into my life... and revealing stuff in my life that needs to be out of my control and on the alter.... Jesus is all I need...

Well, I'm here until Friday... can't wait to see what else the Lord has in store for me... Please be praying for me as I continue to seek God's will!

(And that we don't melt on the way home in non-Air Conditioned car!)