3.21.2008
9.18.2007
With an everlasting Love...
The Lord is soooooooo soooooooo sooooooo good to me. I am continually amazed and humbled with how much He loves me, despite my inadequacies, my disobedience, my fallen human nature.
I had a rough day on Saturday. Struggling with my flesh and my past... it's been 6 years, but still the enemy knows when I'm weak and brings up things... sometimes I wish I could just kick him!
Anyways... as I was saying, the Lord continues to redeem me and bless me and it blows my mind!
"I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many will see and fear and will trust in the Lord."
I've been searching for a 2nd job for a couple months now... and not finding anything... it's been rather frustrating. Also since I went to the Wycliffe conference, I have been wanting to pursue more missions opportunities with them and I sent in a request to talk to someone more about it... and then I never heard from anyone.
This last Friday I finally got a call back from one of the many places I applied at and went in for the first of 2 interviews. I wasn't too sure after the interview if that was a place I wanted to work because it would be physically and emotionally very demanding, but at this point I was willing to take anything.
Then on Saturday night after I had been struggling, and repenting, and all over the place, I was talking to
my friend online who's a manager in the coffee/deli area of a Grocery store in Santa Barbara. She was telling me one of her best employees just quit and she didn't know what she was going to do. I told her I was looking for a job and if my schedule worked, I'd be interested in applying there... and to make a long story short, she called her boss right then and as soon as I fill out the paperwork tomorrow, I'm HIRED!ok Lord, THANK YOU!)
And to top it all off, I got a call for an interview for one other job yesterday morning-- just as if the Lord was saying: "See, I told you I'd take care of you and now I've given you 3 options".
And then... yes there's more... yesterday afternoon in a random free hour and a half that I usually do not have between babysitting jobs, Wycliffe called me! The women I talked to could not unde
rstand how my original contact to them had gotten lost and why I hadn't heard from anybody yet! But I know... it was the Lord's perfect timing and a lesson about me waiting on Him and Him showing me how much he really does love me. And now I'm on track to continue seeking out an opportunity with Wycliffe called: OneStory.and the Lord once again is showering me with
His everlasting and overflowing love.
"Praise the Lord! Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; for His lovingkindness is everlasting. Who can speak of the mighty deeds of the Lord, or can show forth all His praise?"
3.16.2007
Gaze of Love...
Then His gaze of love fell on me and bitterly I wept...
Jesus I need more of you...
my heart is wretched, my 
flesh is corrupt.
I stumble, I fall, yet still you lift me up.
"You shall love the Lord your God with all Your heart, soul, and might..." (Deuteronomy 6:4).
All my heart Lord? Really?
Ok... but... alright... all of it... are you sure?...
Ok... here You go... take it... mold it.... re-order it...
What was that?
Oh... that part too...
but really, I...
Ok Lord... take my friends.... take my ministry... take my family...
who am I but Your servant?
How can I offer a sacrifice of Praise...
without a sacrifice?
What do I have to give?
"Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name." (Hebrews 13:15)
Even when my world is torn apart...
give thanks to Your name...
even when all around me has crumbled to pieces...
give thanks to Your name...
Praise you because You are My Lord...
Praise you because You are my Abba...
Praise You because You are my Redeemer,
my Savior,
my Love...
my All...
So here I am again... broken and weary...
but that times of refreshing may come...
I humbly seek You...
I love You... I need You...
Heal me... Restore me...
The refining fires burn hot...
a life of Faith doesn't mean a life of comfort...
I stretch, I reach, I press on...
to You and only You because You are all I need.
Then Your gaze of love fell on me and I fell at Your feet.
3.02.2007
Agape...
Walking up the driveway of the family I was going to babysit for tonight, I found one of their boys standing there; phone in hand, staring up at the sky:
"Pay Jay," Nathan said, (this is the name he's always called me) "will you help me find out how much my Dad loves me?"
Realizing Nathan's Dad was on the phone, he was holding, I heard his Dad say: "Tell Pay Jay to help you find the moon." It took a little bit of searching, but we found it hiding between the trees, big, bright, and beautiful. I had to pick him up and carry him out into the street so we could see it.
"I found it Dad, I see it!" exclaimed Nathan. He was so excited.
"I love you to the moon and back" said his Dad. At this point the phone was on the driveway and Nathan was bent over it with an unsatisfied look on his face. "That's not all, is it?"
"Oh no, son," his Dad said "I love you much more; to the Moon, the Sun, to Mars, and back more than you can count."
That melted my heart. A simple conversation between a 4-year-old and his Father... made me dwell on the Love relationship with our Father in heaven. How much does our Father love us? It's innumerable. To the universe and back a million times over. More then our minds could ever fathom. This love and grace that is freely and abundantly offered to me… yet how does my life reflect, accept, live, use that love? God loves us perfectly. Nothing we say or do can make Him love us any less or anymore. That is why He is God.
What is love? It’s patient and it’s kind. It is not jealous and does not brag. Love is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly. Love does not seek it’s own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered. Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but love does rejoice with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ever not once will not cannot won’t fail. (adapted from 1 Corinthians 13)
If the cry of our hearts is: “Father I want to know you more and be more like you?” Then the above attributes are the game plan. God is love. And I want to be like that anxious 4-year-old with his Dad on the phone next to him. I want more God… to know Him… understand Him… love Him more… and as a child waiting for their Father to return home, I want to be looking up waiting for His soon return. I want to spread the love of my Father to every nation, that all might know, understand, and believe… entering into this amazing relationship with the creator of the universe… I want to be love to everyone I meet.
1 Corinthians 13:13
1.27.2007
Worship...
Proskyneo
προσκυνώ
Rising and falling
Faces to the ground.
Hands raised in Holy Adoration.
Songs of worship and Praise
Falling from the lips of the saints.
Humbly they bow down,
Awed to be in the presence
of their King.
His Angels swarm around them.
Joining their voices,
Lifting their hands,
Singing their Praises to their Lord.
With sobs they leave their pain.
Lifted to their feet,
Being washed –
Made clean from the stains.
Broken hearts mended.
The throne room stormed with praise.
Crowns cast down.
Bodies prostrated on the ground.
The hush of prayers lifted on the
Wings of the Angels.
The Mantel falls –
The Mantel of Praise –
The Mantel of Worship.
The Saints singing:
"Holy, Holy, Holy, is our Lord, God, and King!"
Copyright 2006 Kjaere Friestad all rights reserved
