Me and Moses

It's amazing to see God work on behalf of our obedience; despite our faults and inadequacies. One of the hardest things I deal with is speaking (which is why you are reading this on my blog instead of hearing it first hand!), and especially speaking to people I don't know.

I feel like Moses telling the Lord in Exodus 4 "Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither recently nor in time past, nor since You have spoken to Your servant; for I am slow of speech and slow of tongue."

In Jr. High and High school I was in drama and theatre a lot. It may seem odd, that one who's afraid to speak, loved to act... but that's exactly what it was... acting. I had a script and I knew exactly what I was to say, feel, or do, and there was no fear of the unknown, just the fear of forgetting my line!

So many people, especially recently, have been encouraging me in this area and they feel like I should speak more and share those thoughts and insights I have... verbally.

I don't know why I am afraid... afraid of failing I suppose, but those times I do speak forth those truths, I'm amazed to see God work. I can imagine the fear in Moses' heart when the Lord commanded him to confront Pharaoh and lead the Israelites... but he did it and stepped forward, and God provided the words and amazing things happened.

Last night I needed to get dinner before going to church for a prayer meeting. I could not decide where to go or what I wanted. I got in my car... sat there for a minute... and prayed "God where should I go to dinner?"... and all of a sudden all I wanted was to go to the Coffee Bean for Coffee and a bagel... interesting choice for dinner, but that is where I went.

And then I met Allie.

I have to confess that I visit the Coffee Bean often... it tends to be my afternoon coffee choice... I usually hit up Starbucks in the morning (and yes, most people at both places know me by name now and what I'm going to order!) Anyways, a tall girl, whom I had never seen working there before, eagerly asked me what she could start for me. As she went off to make my Ice Blended White Chocolate Dream, I paid for my drink and bagel, and I couldn't get her out of my mind.

I normally hide away at restaurants and coffee shops and don't want to be bothered, easily engrossed in my own little world... but that night, something was different. I forsook the comfy chairs in the back corner of the shop and sat on one of the tall chairs at the counter that had me at the forefront of everything, and I opened up my Bible, started to read, and had my "dinner".

I was reading the end of 2 Samuel, but I couldn't get Allie out of my head. I prayed that she would come over to where I was and then all of a sudden she was there... slowly mopping the floor, but I think trying to get me to notice her as well. She asked me how my drink was, and I proceeded to speak and have a nice conversation with her. I don't know what came over me... This may sound a bit silly, but it is a major breakthrough in my little silent-keep-to-myself-world.

We didn't talk about anything deep, I just found out how long she's been working there, and how it was going, and if she's worked with coffee before, etc... she is a happy girl and was eager to talk to me. I hated that I was on a time constraint and had to run to church... but a relationship was made... and I am so looking forward to continue to speak with her and find out more about this mysterious person the Lord suddenly put in my life! And the best part was the joy inside me because I was obediant to the Lord :-)

Jeremiah 1: 5-9
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations."
Then I said, "Alas, Lord GOD! Behold, I do not know how to speak, Because I am a youth."
But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am a youth,' Because everywhere I send you, you shall go, And all that I command you, you shall speak.
"Do not be afraid of them, For I am with you to deliver you," declares the LORD.
Then the LORD stretched out His hand and touched my mouth, and the LORD said to me, "Behold, I have put My words in your mouth..."

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