11.23.2008

Beep Beep...


Finally...
24 is back tonight... well almost... at least we get a little taste of what's to come!
In the meantime,
I leave you with:


Basic Truths About Jack Bauer
  • Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
  • If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
  • If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
  • Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
  • If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe it's beef.
  • 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
  • Let's get one thing straight: the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
  • Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
  • Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
  • When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
  • Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better do it.
  • Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
  • When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
  • You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
  • Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 11am
  • When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
  • Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".
  • In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the heck have you done with your life?
  • Guns don't kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
  • If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
  • People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
  • Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
  • Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
  • Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.

4 comments:

  1. actually kj, mc donalds breakfast stops at 11:00 or so i think so far.

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  2. hmmmm... well, I didn't write these... but I'll change it to be more accurate :-)

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  3. LMAO, My husband is a huge fan of 24. I happen to like it as well and I have to say I laughed quite a bit...except its all true.

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